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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30003060">Trip To Hell</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht'>Polarnacht</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But He Gets Better, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, Jace is the nice thing, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane-centric, Past Abuse, Past Suicidal Thoughts, Protective Jace Wayland, Sad Magnus Bane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:07:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30003060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When a song played in the radio triggers bad memories, Magnus does what he always did. He tries to cope with it alone. But this time Jace is there and Magnus realizes that it helps to share his pain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane/Jace Wayland</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Hunter's Moon 500 Prompts</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Trip To Hell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessa/gifts">Jessa</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the HM500 song prompt: Roadtrip by Dream &amp; PmBata</p><p>For Jessa, who needed sad Magnus - I hope it's sad enough and the right kind of sad</p><p>Windy, the banner is amazing, thank you so much!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Of a past life I lived when I was 18...</em>
</p><p>The words blur out of the radio and something snaps inside Magnus. It’s just a damn song, but it makes something boil until it explodes. Just like the radio explodes against the wall as he slams the damn thing against it. </p><p>He feels the startled eyes of his lover on him. But what the hell does <em>he </em>know? He who is barely a year older than eighteen? Magnus gets up before Jace can say a word, rushes to the balcony and steps outside. He slams the door shut behind him, sealing it with his magic so that no-one can come out. So that he doesn’t have to let someone in.</p><p>He grabs the balustrade in front of him tightly until his knuckles turn white, the pain helping him to breathe. His chest hurts with centuries of unshed tears.</p><p>Magnus barely remembers being eighteen. The years after his mother’s suicide are blurry. It was the time he spent with his father. Asmodeus. Who tried to mold him into something Magnus desperately hopes he isn’t. Into a monster. A real demon. The Prince of Hell. </p><p>But it’s not even the things that he doesn’t remember that tear at him. It’s the things he <em>does </em>remember. The screams of his stepfather when he set him on fire. The feeling of drowning. The relief when he finally found someone with similar eyes than his own. Magnus presses his fists against his eyes, trying to hinder the pictures from flooding his mind. This all happened before he was eighteen. When he was just a little kid. </p><p>Magnus remembers a grey bridge and cold rain on his skin. The red lips of Camille who saved him. Not only that day on the London Bridge. But so many times after that. Camille. Part of him will always be grateful to have known her. Part of him will always hate himself for turning her in. For turning against her and towards the Clave. Though this all happened way after he turned eighteen. When he was already centuries old. </p><p>Magnus wants to shove all the emotions back into this spot in his soul he prefers to leave untouched when he hears Jace step through the door. </p><p>Magnus swears under his breath. His magic never does what it should when Jace is concerned. It was supposed to keep him out, not let him in. But here he is, wrapping his arms around him. Wrapping him in himself.</p><p>“It sucks,” Jace whispers, his lips brushing over his ear. </p><p>Oh and how much it sucks. But in Jace’s embrace it immediately starts to suck a little less. With Jace just pulling him close and acknowledging his pain without shushing him, it sucks a lot less. Because Jace might not be centuries old, but he knows pain. He knows about making choices that are right but still ache. He knows about fathers. So Magnus leans back and just nods. Hurting a little less. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments and kudos are loved 💙</p></blockquote></div></div>
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